Today's paper blamed El Niño for the lack of snow in southeastern Wisconsin. To wit,
"Seasonal snowfall is also about 5 inches below average through today, basically because of the El Niño weather pattern in the southern Pacific Ocean." Milwaukee Journal Sentinel 1/27/10.
(I would have loved to have just posted this stupid link, but the JSOnline search feature is completely wacked. Go ahead. I dare you. Try to find El Niño using JSOnline's search feature in today's edition. I have the hard copy and the article is on p. 8C, back of the Sports section. Just thinking about their search feature is making me tense. I want chocolate.)
It seems to me, meteorologist that I am not, that El Niño has been messing up our weather patterns for as long as I can remember. Or, to be more precise, for as long as I have cared about following the weather, which didn't occur until well past my blissful college years. (Do you know that I did not go to one basketball game the entire time I attended the University of Connecticut at Storrs? Not ONCE! And I was there at the beginning of their dynasty. ARGHH! In other words, no bliss, just regrets.)
It seems to me, meteorologist that I am not, that El Niño has been messing up our weather patterns for as long as I can remember. Or, to be more precise, for as long as I have cared about following the weather, which didn't occur until well past my blissful college years. (Do you know that I did not go to one basketball game the entire time I attended the University of Connecticut at Storrs? Not ONCE! And I was there at the beginning of their dynasty. ARGHH! In other words, no bliss, just regrets.)
No snow? Blame El Niño. Too much snow? Blame El Niño. Not enough or too much rain? Too hot? Too cold? Yes, it is true. It is .... El Niño.
So it is with great relief that I am finally able to find the cause for all of my personal and professional failings. El N
iño. Those 15 lbs. I gained (and never lost) in graduate school?* My book, with 200+ pages of notes safely stored on a floppy (yes, that old), that has not yet been started? My bi-polar pantry whose contents range from organic dried wild Atlantic kombu and spelt flour to Goldfish and Spam? Yes, Oh Great Universe, all these and much, much more can only be the result of one thing.
iño. Those 15 lbs. I gained (and never lost) in graduate school?* My book, with 200+ pages of notes safely stored on a floppy (yes, that old), that has not yet been started? My bi-polar pantry whose contents range from organic dried wild Atlantic kombu and spelt flour to Goldfish and Spam? Yes, Oh Great Universe, all these and much, much more can only be the result of one thing. 
El Niño.
And just like that, I am free.
*I'm working on it, I'm working on it!!!
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